DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
People wonder what they can do to spark up their seemingly dull lives. One of the solutions they come up with involves physical relationships, one night stands. I decided to research every detail of this to see if, in the long run, a one night stand is the right choice.
A one night stand is a sexual relationship that involves no emotional attachment or any intention to move things further. It has its pros and cons. Also, its enjoyment depends on your personality and how well you can handle adventures and stay confident.
This Guide will show you everything you need to know about one night stands. It will also take your mind to things you probably would not think about when considering having a one night stand.
ONE NIGHT STAND MEANING
I’m sure you’ve heard someone mention ‘One-night stand.’ Maybe you’re thinking about how cool it would be to try it out sometime. A one-night stand is the kind of sex you have with someone with no strings attached. Usually, it happens between people that are meeting for the first time to have sex. One of the peculiarities of the one-night stand is that there’s no intention to meet again. Girl meets boy, they get intimate, and then, it’s over.
There are times when sex happens with people you know. However, neither of you commits to a relationship or another sexual experience. One night stands mostly occur at parties, bars, and conferences. At times, they follow a conversation that starts on the street. Once the heat is on, both parties get it on. They don’t even exchange their contacts to avoid tracking or stalking. It is sex with no emotions or future expectations.
WHY IS IT CALLED A ONE NIGHT STAND
A one night stand is called a ‘one night stand’ because it comes from the world of show business. Show business in the late 1800s mostly involved one-night performances. Entertainers would travel from town to town and put on a show for the evening. Musicians, plays, speeches, etc. Each stop was called a “stand.” This lingo is still used today in showbiz. The term ‘one-night stand’ was applied to a sexual encounter.
The term ‘one-night stand’ has become a pop-culture term. Everyone uses it today, many times in a joking manner. Another name for a one-night stand is casual sex. They both stress the looseness and lack of commitment to the encounter. Many movies have adopted these popular phrases as their titles.
IS IT A ONE NIGHT STAND IF YOU ARE FRIENDS
It IS a one night stand if you’re not planning to do it again. What stands out with the one-night stand is the absence of commitment or intention to continue. If you have sex with a friend after a wild party or vulnerable moment, it’s a one night stand. The fact that you two are friends does not change what it is. Perhaps it was a mistake that you never want to re-live, that’s for you to decide.
If you choose to continue, you can no longer call it a one-night stand. Many young people share their experiences of having sex with friends. It might be when they went camping, walked in on the other naked, or while consoling a friend after a breakup.
Often, after the sex happens, there’s some awkwardness as the friends realize what has happened. It’s sometimes funny when they start covering themselves up. I mean, this was your friend, you have never felt uncomfortable before. They try to get that one time off their minds. And sometimes, one or both of them long for more intimacy.
Sex with a friend can be stressful. It has worked for several people. They move on with their lives, even while having casual sex from time to time. However, it doesn’t turn out fine, most times. It brings awkwardness. One or both friends long for more, and when it doesn’t happen, they mostly drift from each other. Then, there’s neither friendship nor sex. And later, they regret that first night and every other thing that followed it.
IS A ONE NIGHT STAND BAD
A one-night stand is a tempting sexual experience. The average person wants to know what it feels like to have wild sex, especially with someone they hardly know. There sure is a thrill. This particular sexual encounter comes with some not-so-pleasing results that I’d like you to consider before you decide to have it or sink into it. A few of the reasons someone would tell you that a one night stand is bad include:
Sexually Transmitted Diseases
Since most one night stands are out of control heats, safety measures are not taken. Hardly does any of the two remember what a condom is. They just want to get on with enjoying some physical passion. And that’s how dangerous STDs sneak into their system.
Regrets
Folks lose their relationships to one-night stands. During the sex, they forget that they’re in a relationship, or dating someone who could be the one. Also, unwanted pregnancies show their faces, and you’d have to tell your kid how they came to the world.
Depression
Even though the intention of sex is known from the very beginning, sometimes, those involved develop low self-esteem. They feel used even from the morning after. They are unable to understand why they cannot build on something so exciting.
Attachments
Most people say that sex is physical. But the universe can be playful at times. I’ve seen cases where the lady and sometimes the guy gets struck by Cupid, and start developing feelings for someone who doesn’t want to commit to them. And in fact, someone they cannot trace.
Expectations
On the other hand, you just might be the one who’s the cause of the other person’s troubles. After hooking up with you, they start disturbing you for your contact. Some may go the extent of stalking you, and then you’re in trouble. Your life is hardly the same again!
Habit
There’s a chance that you can’t stop thinking about what you’ve just enjoyed after your first time. You sulk on how the one night stand made you feel. And so you create a habit of picking up the opposite sex for some more meaningless sex which may ruin your life.
IS A ONE NIGHT STAND GOOD
One night stands are no doubt, fun, and energizing. They also help you remove stress while adding to your adventures. Most people believe that there’s no harm in getting some while they wait for the perfect date. It all depends on your personality. You may or may not be missing out if you’ve never had a one night stand, or considered having one. Take a look at a few benefits of having a one night stand.
They Remind You That You’re Cool and Hot
When you get picked up at a bar, you’re reminded of just how hot you are. Connecting sexually with a stranger might show you how confident you are. And that’s not all; you get as much sex as your body demands. That gets you better in bed, and you realize your preferences.
You Explore More of the World
Apart from doing it with strangers from places you never thought you would, you might end up on another side of the city. There, you see new places. At the same time, you have both awesome and dreadful sex stories to share with your friends.
You Have Fun Outside of a Relationship
It sometimes sucks to be alone. However, one night stands have a way of helping you get over loneliness and casting off any prolonged lack of sex. And where you have no intention of getting married, they are your go-to for sexual relations.
It’s a Vacation From Your Regular Life
Getting on with someone outside your zone, especially when you’ve been stressed out, can be quite healing. At that moment, you forget about the pile of tasks and bills that kept you over-sensitive in the past months. You enjoy the fantasy world.
IS A ONE NIGHT STAND FOR ME
Before you go for it, be sure that a one-night stand is something that your personality can withstand. Courtney Geter, a licensed marriage and family therapist revealed that one-night stands could be either good or bad for a person. She said that one night stands allow sexual exploration without a need for commitment. She added that it helps release sexual tension. And also, that it may not go well for someone that seeks emotional closeness.
I agree with her, so I’ve made this quick list for you to examine yourself with. If you have any of these traits, you should stay clear one night stands.
You Want to Find ‘The One’
If you seek a long-term relationship or love, don’t go trying out a one night stand. Sex with multiple strangers would not get you to where you desire. It would only leave you feeling left alone. The meaning of the expression should let you know that there’s a low probability that you find a life partner out of such an experience. So, I suggest you stick to regular dating.
You Get Attached Easily
If you’re like my friend who plans his wedding with a date after only two nights out, please run away from one-night stands. Trust me; the heat leads nowhere near the altar. You don’t want to fall in love with someone after unattached sex. Therefore, save yourself some headache and regrets. Don’t call forth sadness because of one crazy sexual experience.
You’re Not in a Great Mental State
If you’re going through a lot at the moment, please step aside. There’s a tendency for you to seek vacation from all that’s bothering you. However, if what disturbs you goes beyond having a lot of work or being bored, a one night stand is not for you. Mental issues such as depression and low self-esteem would most likely increase when you have sex with someone who doesn’t stay to listen or hold you.
You Only Enjoy Sex in a Relationship
A few people, especially females, believe that sex should only happen in a committed relationship. One night stands are not for people like that. So if you’re one of them, don’t bother going out to waste your time. You most likely won’t enjoy it, after all. Why not order some pizza or go to a bar that allows you to do some karaoke?
You Feel Unsafe Around Strangers
If you are one of those that have watched too much CSI or Law & Order: SVU, it’s improbable that you’d feel relaxed enough to have some fun with a random person. Your house is not an option either, as you don’t want them to hack you into pieces in your own home. I’ll suggest that you don’t have a one-night stand. You just won’t enjoy it.
WHAT SHOULD I DO IF MY ONE NIGHT STAND RETURNS
So, you had meaningless but passionate sex with someone you picked up from the bar some time ago. You both agreed that it would end there. But then, somehow, you were wrong. The person has returned. They want you to try out a relationship. How do you tell them that it’s still just sex to you, without having them see you as ill-mannered?
Do Not Ignore Them
When you run into a one night stand, and they happen to remember you, acknowledge the person. You shouldn’t deny knowing them if you recognize them. If you’re shy to face this person, try to hide. But if they catch you, just smile. Lying that you don’t remember this person would only annoy them or cause them to embarrass you. And I’m sure you don’t want everyone there finding out what went on behind closed doors.
Shut Down Their Request Politely
If they refer to the time you had together, shut them down. Don’t encourage them by talking about how nice it was. If they ask to hang out, don’t agree. It would only make things more awkward for the two of you. Here’s what you should do- let them know that you are seeing someone. And if you are not, just tell them you’re very busy. Don’t act like you’d like to spend more time with them when you don’t want to. That would be unfair for you to do.
Don’t Agree to Be Friends
They’ll likely ask to be friends with you. You might hear something like, ‘let’s try out being friends.’ It’s also possible that you feel obligated to have a friendship with them because you feel guilty. For your sanity, it’s safer that you end it from the very beginning. You don’t want to invite drama into your life. And when they send you friend requests on social media, don’t accept them, just ignore.
Decline Their Offer of Gifts
If you’re not interested in getting together again, be clear about it. Don’t accept gifts. A lot of girls do this, and it only leads the guys on. The guy thinks that the girl is playing hard to get. He is unaware that she is serious about leaving things just as they are. So, if you don’t want to be viewed as walking away from them twice, overlook the gifts. You can always get them for yourself or from someone else.
FINAL THOUGHTS
As exciting as one night stands might be, you have to be careful. Keep in mind that neither of you is to expect any further attachments. This means that you should be mindful of whom you have it with. Also, make sure that it is something you can handle at this point in your life. Playing it safe is your best bet.
