DATE AT AN EXPERT LEVEL
A girl you’ve never met before has caught your eye on Facebook. What do you do? How do you start a meaningful conversation from scratch without creeping her out? Let’s discuss some do’s and don’ts for successfully approaching a random girl on Facebook, and possibly landing yourself a date.
It is not weird to add a random girl on Facebook if you don’t make it weird. Adding and messaging a stranger you hope to hit it off with comes down to a few simple things. Make sure you have a decent profile, be considerate with your approach, and make your move swiftly without waiting.
But, not so fast. It’s very easy to mess up and have her hit the block button. The last thing you want is to make the girl feel uncomfortable and ruin your confidence. Here you will learn the right way to add a random girl on Facebook.
IS IT WEIRD TO MESSAGE A GIRL ON FACEBOOK
It all starts with you! Having a presentable profile is crucial before you even add this girl. Start with your profile photo, as this will always be the number one feature a girl will notice first. Choose a clear photo of you, and only you. Make sure it is a picture you like and feel confident displaying.
List where you work or go to school so that she can easily identify with you. Where you work and your school info might bring out some commonalities and open possibilities for conversation. Fill out the majority of fields Facebook offers- hobbies, education, accomplishments, etc.
Be yourself and be relatable. You’re looking to hit it off with a girl you’re interested in, not a new boss. Clean up your profile a bit, deleting anything that may be offensive, especially towards women. Vulgar photos or memes are a no-no. Avoid pictures where you appear wasted and pictures with drugs.
INITIATING CONVERSATION
Let’s assume she has accepted your friend request. Now that you’re friends, excellent! You’ve already accomplished one of the toughest parts of making a successful connection. You can now connect on Messenger, which is where you’ll be able to communicate.
Start with a brief introduction. Give your name and briefly explain why you added her. Do this in a relaxed tone. If you have a mutual friend, bring them up. Make sure to mention any relevant interests that you have in common.
EXAMPLES
“Hey Sarah! I’m Mark! You came up onto my page as a mutual friend of Brett, and I remember meeting you at Post Malone’s concert last year! Have you heard his latest song?”
In this way, you’re using Brett’s name to ease any creepy-vibes she may initially get. Discussing an event and musician of interest gives you something to talk about right away.
If you’re looking to chat with a girl you have never met, your chances of her responding are less. It is still ok to try; you have nothing to lose.
“Hey Sarah! I’m Mark! We don’t yet know each other, but your profile came up on my feed, and you caught my eye. Is this Miami Beach? I visited with family last year, and it was one of the most incredible experiences!”
ASKING HER OUT THE RIGHT WAY
Let’s assume she has engaged, and there are some back and forth messages. Take a moment to look over your conversation with her so far. Does she seem invested? Is she giving one-word answers, or is she taking the time to write a few lines? Is she responding to you right away or waiting a week?
Consider these questions heavily. If the girl is showing interest, she may be receptive to meeting up with you sometime. If you are feeling positive about your interaction so far, start by asking for her phone number. It is better to move the conversation to text and possibly a phone call at some point. Asking a girl out over the phone is more personal and will make her feel comfortable.
The whole point of this interaction is to get the girl to meet up. You want to do this in a casual and non-threatening manner. Don’t propose to meet up at a club or a wild event or your house. Tell her where you will be with your friends on Friday night and mention that she should stop by with her friends. If you want to meet her alone, suggest a local coffee shop or another very public place. Remember, you are strangers, girls are scared.
Don’t be vague- “I hope we get the chance to meet sometime!” Girls don’t respond well to this. They like a guy who leads the interaction. Tell her you have a spot in mind. Ask her what her schedule is like and when she is available to get together. Don’t give a date and time. It is too needy.
WAIT FOR HER TO RESPOND
Okay, so you’ve done your part, and now you’re anxiously awaiting her response. It’s best not to obsess or panic. Don’t check your conversation thread every 5 minutes. If she wants to get together with you, she will respond. Here are some of your possible outcomes.
She says she is available next week, Wednesday or Thursday- Excellent news. Take the equal amount of time that she took to respond to your last text. “Thursday sounds good; I’ll have Siri pencil you in.” Now wait a few days and don’t over message her. Congratulations, you have a date.
She says she is really busy for the next few weeks– Don’t be reactive. Write back and tell her to let you know when she is available. Leave the ball in her court.
She ignores you or leaves you on “seen”- Don’t be reactive. Don’t text her. Wait a week. Then respond with something funny. “Cute girl gone missing, should I send a search party?” You might be surprised when you wait. It shows a girl that you aren’t needy. She might text saying that she has been busy and is available this weekend.
She unfriends/ blocks you- Yeah, it hurts. Move on, there are 4 billion girls on the planet. You did your best and should be proud that you tried.
She says she isn’t interested- This hurts also. Move one, you tried. Forget about her.
THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO
Now that we’ve got you covered on what you should do to enhance your chances of striking up a conversation with a beautiful stranger, let’s cover a couple of no-nos.
Don’t be creepy- Don’t make any crude or sexual comments, suggestions, or remarks. Don’t binge-like or binge-comment on her posts or photos. Don’t over text. Avoid silly pick up lines and immaturity. It’s truly never attractive to the opposite sex at any age.
Don’t be boring- Never send a simple, “Hey” or “How are you?” This tells her nothing in regards to who you are and why she would want to speak with you further.
Keep it in Messenger– Contact her privately through messenger, don’t go public with your pursuit. This includes her timeline, her photos, or statuses. It will likely embarrass her and turn her off, even if she is into you.
Don’t Poke. Don’t Wave- Not sure why this feature exists, never use it.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Don’t take anything too seriously. You are not for every girl, and every girl is not for you. There are many options, and your best course of action is to move on if a girl doesn’t like you. Rejection is normal and natural, and should be embraced, not feared.
I have outlined the best way to meet a random girl on Facebook. There are no guarantees. If you follow my guidelines, you will have the best odds of scoring a date on Facebook. Facebook is not the ideal method for meeting girls; your odds are low. It works on occasion and can’t hurt to try. Good luck!
